FRI 6^th OCTOBER

I was up early today. I’d been too tired to swim yesterday so had a shower before my Auntie and Mum picked me up for lunch. I had tried to call this OT all week, at 5pm I eventually got onto her.  Basically, although it wasn’t specified in the job description, it was predominantly home-based and a driving licence was required. The OT also said that she thought an acute setting would be more supportive.

 SAT 7^th OCTOBER

I was picked up outside my unit by Siobhan at 10.30 am. To make it easier for her I wheeled my luggage from the bedroom to the carport. The exterior door was so heavy I had to hold it open with a bag. It took me 7 trips before all the bags and me were waiting. I thought, for me, I had packed lightly but clearly not! We picked up Liz and were off to Anglesea.

On the way we stopped at Grovedale Coles to do a food shop. I decided it would be quicker if Liz and Siobhan did it and I waited in the car. Being the thoughtful girls they are, they bought me a cold dink and a straw before they shopped. I sat and waited. The car next to me opened their rear door into Siobhan’s new car. They drove off. I did all I could do, I took their number plate.

SUN 8^th OCTOBER

A great place to be. To sleep in and not feel bad. It was great to blob while others blobbed. I used the estim while Siobhan and Liz walked down to the beach.

 MON 9^th OCTOBER

Wrote book all morning. Felt very isolated, and decided I needed fresh air. The stair climbs every two hours were getting tedious. I put my credit card, keys and mobile in my pocket. I put my sunnies on. I pushed anchovy down the internal staircase, at one stage I was worried that it would fly through the window! I walked with anchovy, down the middle of the road, hoping that the on coming traffic would see me. I had said to Bec that I might attempt a walk the night before during our phone call. She said ‘Em, you’d better not, that area is so hilly’. Mum and Dad were on their way, Mum texted asking if I wanted to go for a walk to get out of the house when they arrived. It was such a good feeling to reply, ‘no thanks, I’m walking now but I’d love a take away coffee!!’ The walk was hard and hilly; I walked for 1 hour and twenty minutes. My stooped posture was proof. Mum and Dad arrived when I got back. I have never enjoyed a coffee so much!

My replacement frame for Anchovy arrived with Mum and Dad- an etac walker. It was less ‘grannyish’ and although more expensive, it was so much better to push. Dad liked the fact that there were no screws or bolts jutting out. I’d left scrape marks all around our house in Mont Albert.  To be honest I felt a bit sad that Anchovy now sat in the carport. Although his basket no longer fit, his handles were now replaced with gaff tape and the once new blue was now scratched and dull, it’d been good. I now have to think of a name I kinda like for my new frame. It can’t be as good as calamari or lollies… I’ll save such names  for my walking stick. 

 TUES 10^th OCTOBER

At Anglesea shops now. At the street and saw a couple holding hands. Swinging. Something I could never imagine doing. I’d have to let go of my frame to do that. Waving was even difficult.

WED 11^th OCTOBER

I have a protein shake every morning. I was given a bamix by a friend and decided that it would be great to mix my strawberry shakes. But after my kitchen cupboards, benches and floor was covered in the shake, I decided to mix it by hand. The lumpy bits floating on the top that refuse to be stirred in, I’d have to hack!

  THURS 12^th OCTOBER

Although I referred my patients to the CRS, today I was going myself. I had requested to go to the branch in the city, as I knew they specialised in ABI injuries. I went by taxi. Although this was frustrating as Flinders St Station was so close, it was the first time I’d tackled the city alone. It felt good. I really had no idea what to expect, perhaps I was hoping they would direct me. My initial session was with a speech pathologist. She was really nice but after discussing my background, she became quite confused. The referral from centre link stated that I’d had a stroke in 2003 and was previously working at The Royal Children’s. I remember in that 90 min interview I’d spent at least 30 explaining what all the different medical terminology. The referral even mentioned that I had word finding difficulties and in brackets dysphagia. No wonder the speech pathologist was confused. Dysphagia means difficulty swallowing!

I left the meeting 70 minutes later; we were going to finish the assessment in a fortnight. She warned me that it would be quite a time. I left jobless. I had gained nothing, other than knowing that sometime in my past I’d worked at the Children’s and had a stroke. I was in the city though. I’d paid to get there. I decided to buy something and Dangerfield four doors up from the CRS would be perfect. I walked as ‘normally’ as possible. Wearing my glasses, even though it made it too dark reduced the number of stares I was getting. I made it up the steep entrance of the shop. I looked up; the girl’s clothes were up at least 30 steps. I exited. I walked up the hill, tempted to cross Flinders Street and catch the train, instead walked up Swanstons Street. You see a lot of strange looking people in the city- I guess I’d never thought I’d be one of them! I looked at lots of shops and bought a packet of Darell Lea liquorice as proof that I’d been there. I was hot, so tired. My legs were dead!

 FRI 13^th OCTOBER

I went to the Optometrist this morning. The prism glasses were so blurry now I couldn’t read or write with them. It was better seeing two clear images rather than one blurry. Although more expensive I decided to get new frames and lenses. I sat with two men, where are the girls when you need them to make these huge decisions. I was given a large range of the ‘cheaper’ frames – I looked like Ezmae Watson out of Country Practice or Harry Potter. “It’s not a fashion statement,” the assistant said. He was right. The ‘coke bottle’ thick, cheap glasses I was buying were not fashionable. I was paying $500 dollars to achieve the antithesis of fashion. Perhaps I would start a new trend. Be the Prada of the Rehab world?!

I’m in a bad mood, don’t know why, maybe the weather, tiredness, being bored… No I think I’ll just blame it on ‘Friday the 13^th’.

Okay ShoeString readers, here is my Blogging for this week…

Monday 2nd OCT

 I had enquired last week f
or a part time OT job in a private rehab company, it looked great! I re read the letter I wrote them. I must’ve left things out. I hadn’t. I’d said I’d had brain surgery, I even mentioned my deficits. I’d been honest.  I never imagined I would get a response or a ‘ I want to discuss this position with you’. Shocked. The job description was forwarded to me, one of the criterion being ‘ good communication skills’. I was immediately disappointed. My speech was bad, far from good. Bec, during a msn conversation, sensed my disappointment and wrote, ‘em, u n I both know that good communication is way more than good speech’. True…   

Tuesday 3rd OCT

My friend had her wisdom teeth out and I was secretly glad as I knew it was likely that I would hear her ‘bad speech’ as a result. I called her and she sounded fine…she felt fine. Grrrrrrr. I was happy she was fine, guess I was been selfish and hoping that someone out there had worse speech than me- even if it were for a few hours!

 Dad, Mum and I went for a walk around the oval opposite my unit. Usually I get odd looks re my frame, however this time the long stares were granted. To challenge my balance, I was pushing an empty stroller around. The stroller had been to light so to compensate I’d put my bright red dumb bells in it. No wonder I was getting looks. It was the first time I didn’t mind people staring. Mum and Dad had to refrain from laughing. Afterwards Mum said ‘ you’re so lucky to have such a good, quiet baby Em’. 

Wednesday 4th OCT

Archicentre 80+ year old man came to see my unit. I’d received a free archi visit in the mail and decided to work being a health care cardholder and get my unit assessed.

It was 28 degrees outside but he still wore a suit and tie. He clearly took his job very seriously. So when he attempted to place his folder and pen on my Swiss ball (which he thought was fixed????) to open the back door he became very flustered. Then when drawing up plans to widen the outdoor step he accidentally locked himself outside. My cleaner luckily heard his timid cry and let him and his perspiring body in. The other room I was keen for him to look at was the bathroom. Having a speech deficit combined with him being slightly deaf wasn’t great. I said I wondered if a fan could be installed, as currently there was no ventilation. He replied, ‘ So what you would like is to move the toilet into the bathroom?’.  I had said more ventilation not less. Puzzled I soon realised that he heard ‘pan’ not ‘fan’.

I messaged my ex boyfriend to say ‘happy birthday’ and soon regretted pressing send when he replied saying that he’ll save it in his phone to appear in 31 days for his “real” birthday. I was a month early. Shattered.  I had tried to be thoughtful and it had backfired. If it had’ve been anyone else I wouldn’t of cared. But my ex, that didn’t know that my memory was fine. I was so angry with myself.

I tried to call the OT today but there was no answer. I decided to leaver her an email stating I’d tried and also wanted to reiterate my background of ‘spending the last year in rehab as a patient not a therapist’. I wanted to make sure she hadn’t skim read my enquiry.

On arriving at the pool for my swim I realised I’d stupidly forgotten my flippers! Without the flippers I seriously doubted I’d make it! BUT, I took on the challenge and, letting people who swam by take over me and laugh at my speed and stroke, I swam 20 whole laps without flippers!

So, forgetting things is not such a bad thing!

Thursday 5th OCT

I had a bad disrupted sleep. Calling the OT and leaving a message on her machine, was the last thing I wanted to do. Leaving a message was good in that it meant the OT was acutely aware of my speech deficit. I left a message and my number. In case she didn’t quite hear/ understand the number I repeated it. But repeated it incorrectly. Grrrr!

I started using the micro facial machine again today on the masseter and buccal muscles. I’d had 2 weeks off, keen to wait for Cindy’s response (my Speech Therapist in Brisbane). I also didn’t want to spend the recommended > 5hrs a day inflicting unnecessary pain to my face. However, Cindy had reviewed the video and photos I’d sent her and said my face looked ‘good’ and to keep going. Torture was decided. She said only cease the treatment if I a) begin biting my right cheek b) my right check becomes stiff c) I get symmetry. Easy. She made it sound simple.

As Talbot had basically said they wouldn’t use the machine without a protocol, I went home with picture instructions for my mum to place the electrodes/ begin the torture. It was hard enough placing one set of electrodes, let alone two! I soon became tangled in wires, my mum covered in ultrasound gel. Micropore tape stuck to my face, I began the treatment that would make my face symmetrical…eventually.

@ my Emma- Tying up the week you can count on updates on how I’m tracking with this game of rehab! I hope that the telling of my ups n’ downs will help you all out: give a bit of ‘patient insight’, let you all know where I’m at, and perhaps encourage you all to share you own experiences with us all to keep us motivated, inspired and ShoeString tied!